Sleep in Early Motherhood
Sleep changes significantly with the introduction of a new baby. Long stretches of uninterrupted rest are often replaced with broken, lighter, and shaped around infant's needs. This shift can feel disorienting as fragmented sleep can affect attention, patience, and overall daily caregiving performance. In early motherhood, interrupted sleep is not a sign of failure but instead should be viewed as a normal, temporary, and expected shift in rhythm. Most importantly, mothers experiencing difficulties with sleep are deserving of support.
Sleep can be understood in two ways: the amount of objective and subjective sleep. Objective sleep is the measurable amount of rest you receive (your total hours of sleep). This directly influences your physical tiredness and the likelihood of dozing off throughout the day. Subjective sleep focuses on how your sleep feels. Your perception of how you sleep plays an important role in mood, emotional regulation, and overall daily functioning.
This section will first explore sleep hygiene: what it is, why it is important, and practical ways to support better quality sleep. In recognition of the inherent fragmentation of early motherhood, this section will then guide you through environmental modifications for strategies to support nervous system regulation for both you and your baby, and approaches to simplify nighttime tasks and conserve energy.
While the goal is to help you increase total sleep hours whenever possible, this section is equally focused on improving the experience of your sleep. Additionally, this section aims to normalize and support a fragmented sleep schedule in the first few months of your baby's life.
Sleep Hygiene
Sleep hygiene refers to the daily habits and rituals that are designed to ensure consistent, high-quality, and uninterrupted sleep. During matrescence, previous sleep routines may no longer fit within evolving caregiving roles and responsibilities.
Instead of attempting to maintain pre-parenthood expectations around sleep, this section will focus on adapting routines in ways that support rest, recovery, and sleep quality. We will cover techniques to relax your body and mind, helping you transition out of a fight-or-flight state and promoting high-quality sleep.
Before Bed Body Relaxation
During times of transition, stress is often carried physically in the body. Muscle tension, shallow breathing, and increased alertness may make it difficult to shift into rest, even when opportunities for sleep are available, contributing to a "tired but wired" experience. Incorporating simple body-based relaxation strategies before bed may help support your body's transition to rest.
Before Bed Mind Relaxation
At the end of the day, it's common for the mind to remain active as it processes experiences, anticipates the next day's responsibilities, and/or reflects on unfinished tasks. During matrescence, it can feel difficult to stop the constant flow of thoughts and worries. This constant mental activity can keep you in an alert state, making it difficult to fall asleep. In fact, sleep that occurs alongside ongoing cognitive stress may be lighter and more easily disrupted. Engaging in simple relaxation strategies before bed can help reduce cognitive load and support the transition into more restorative sleep.
Establishing a Predictable Bedtime Routine
Consistent bedtime routines can reduce the cognitive effort required to prepare for sleep each night. Predictable routines signal to the brain that the day is ending and that it is safe to begin transitioning into rest. Part of establishing a predictable routine also involves protecting your "wind-down window," or the time you set aside to prepare your mind and body for sleep.
During your wind-down window, it may be helpful to:
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Avoid difficult or emotionally charged conversations
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Refrain from completing work-related tasks
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Limit engagement. inactivities that require planning or problem-solving
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Avoid reviewing schedules, finances, or other decision-heavy topics
Keep a "Parking Lot" Book
A "parking lot" notebook can be used to temporarily store intrusive or repetitive thoughts before bed. Writing down worries, tasks, or reminders may help reduce the need to mentally rehearse them while trying to fall asleep. This practice also allows thoughts to be acknowledged without needing to resolve them immediately
You may choose to include:
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A brief "brain dump" of intrusive thoughts, recurrent worries, frustrations, and grievances
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Cognitive Reframing
Setting up the Environment for Rest
The idea here is when sleep is fragmented (being woken up in middle of night to feed baby, how can you make things easier for you to keep you and your baby's nervous system somewhat calm and how to make it easier on yourself (task simplification & energy conservation)
just type out things about 1. lighting, 2. room layout, 3. white noise for you and baby